January 2010 Archives

A story for my women friends...

Today I attended a "goodbye" party for a friend of mine who got a great new job and is moving out of state. I asked what I could bring to the party and the hostess said that pastries would be wonderful.

Last night I went out to the store and bought puff pastry sheets and all the ingredients to make "Strawberry Napoleons" which include layers of strawberries, vanilla pudding and whipped cream... a recipe which I found on the side of the box. Everything went very well this morning when I made the whipped cream from scratch and layered all the ingredients. Then, just a few minutes before leaving my house, I went to cut the long pastry layers into smaller party size pieces and the whole thing promptly fell apart.

Chaos ensued as I tried to salvage the mess in between tears, cursing and chucking handfulls of pudding mush into my sink. Finally I had to call it quits and drive to the local bakery to buy pastries. I cried the whole way to the bakery and ordered a box of mixed pastries with bright red cheeks and a runny nose from crying.

Sitting in my car, trying to compose myself before going in to the party, I decided I needed to calm down. I began thinking of you brides-to-be out there and how stressful your lives must be. I've never been a bride, and while I do my very best to provide you with useful tips and information, I think it's important for me to acknowledge the fact that planning a wedding is an emotional process and it's not all Martha Stewart perfect.

I guarantee there will be times that you, too, will fall to pieces over the silliest little thing.  I think that it's ok to have a breakdown from time to time. There is so much pressure involved and so many things to juggle.

So in reflecting upon today's catastrophe, I've decided that it's ok for us ladies to cry once in awhile over something stupid, or maybe for no reason at all. Crying made me feel better, so I must have released some tension or something.

Be patient, take a deep breath and take a break from being perfect. At the end of the day, the whole point is that you and the love of your life will be married and that is a wonderful thing... all the little speed bumps along the way are what make life interesting and make for a really good story for the grandkids years down the road.

So you're newly engaged and just beginning to think about putting the pieces of your dream day together. What to do first?

Well it's important to start with a realistic budget so that you don't get carried away. There are budget calculators of all kinds on the internet and in bridal handbooks, but I find it most helpful to work with percentages.

First, figure out how much you are going to spend in TOTAL. Then break that total down into each main category:

• CEREMONY (3%)
• RECEPTION (48%)
• ATTIRE (10%)
• RINGS (3%)
• FLOWERS (8%)
• MUSIC (8%)
• PHOTOGRAPHY (12%)
• TRANSPORTATION (2%)
• STATIONERY (3%)
• GIFTS (3%)

Not all couples will need everything on this list.... for example you might not need to spend anything on transportation if the ceremony and reception are at the same place. That money can then be distributed into other categories that you might want to expand, such as hiring both a photographer and a videographer.

Also remember that this is just a starting place and that you and your fiance will need to do your own prioritizing.

One of the smartest things I noticed at the "Bridal Extravaganza" was that several brides had created return address sticker labels with all of their contact info. Rather than standing there filling out raffle slips at just about every table, they were able to just peel off a sticker to attach to the slips. What a time saver!

Traditional wedding cakes work for some couples, but here's an idea: get creative with dessert! There is no book of wedding rules that says "Let them eat cake." How about changing things up a bit? Here are a few yummy ideas that might be a better fit for your wedding dinner finale:

• Strawberry Shortcake
• Cupcakes
• Chocolate Chip or Sugar Cookies
• Petit Fours
• Peanut Butter Cups

Virtually any dessert you choose can be displayed in a way that reflects the traditional dessert "tower" if that's a look you are going for. You can definitely choose decorative desserts that coordinate with your wedding theme. If you are looking for some visuals, Google "wedding cake alternatives" and click on "images".

Your wedding style should reflect your style and that of your fiance. Maybe you are not cake people...Think outside the cake box!

"Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for her, and one for them together."
-Jacqueline Bisset

In other words... don't stop going to the gym, hanging out with non-mutual friends, painting or going shopping alone. It is those unique interests and qualities that attract individuals to one another. Depriving yourself of "me" time is unhealthy. Paying attention to growing yourself as an individual is important and should not be something you neglect once the wedding planning starts... you deserve a break today!

Picking a theme is a great starting place for brides and grooms that really want their wedding to stand out. Everyone wants their wedding to be memorable for the guests, but lots of couples just pick colors to work with. Of course picking a color scheme is essential, but why stop there? Adding a theme can be very simple and makes it so easy to make other decisions about the logistical details.

I'm interested to hear what other brides are doing for their themed weddings!

For those of you who got engaged over the holidays.... congratulations! This is a big time of year for engagements to take place and now the bridal bonanza begins. Many of you have already set dates and are now ready to begin planning the logistical details of your big day.

One of the best ways to get started is to attend bridal shows... as many as possible in my opinion! So here are some tips for what to be prepared with when attempting to face the chaos that is a bridal show:

• Bring a friend. A bridal show can be a very big event to handle on your own. Ideally both the bride and groom should attend a bridal show together, but if it's only going to be one of you definitely bring a buddy along. This way you can bounce ideas off of each other and take turns holding stuff while you take bathroom breaks. Your friend can also help you remember about questions you may want to ask. Bring your mom, sister or bridesmaid if your fiance is unavailable. 
• Bring the sneakers. Some bridal shows are gargantuan and you will need to cover a very large area if you want to visit all of the vendor booths. You will be on your feet all day... sore feet = cranky bride. Wear comfortable shoes! And don't bring a heavy coat (or leave it in the car) so you don't have to carry it around all day.
• Bring a bag. There are often hundreds of vendors at these shows; each and everyone will have handouts to give you and by the time you leave you will have enough giveaways and brochures to fill a small bus. Many shows will provide brides with some sort of plastic bag to put all their stuff in, but you will likely need something strong and something that's not going to be a pain to hold all day.Using a small backpack might work well because many backpacks have a place to hold a bottle of water and it would leave your hands free for more important tasks like cake tasting.